10 Things John McCain could have done were he in the “Cone of Silence”

John McCain was about a half hour late for his scheduled appearance with Barack Obama at Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church over the weekend. Had he been in the “cone of silence” on time, he could have partaken in a number of fruitful activities to pass the time. Here’s 10 things McCain could have done.

10. Learned how to send a text message.

9. Read over the questions that had already been given to him ahead of time.

8. Figured out how he could spend his $28 saved by a gas tax holiday given in a McCain administration.

7. Listened to song from Michael Phelps Olympic playlist on his IPod, like “Roses” by Outkast, “Burn” by Usher, “Overnight Celebrity” by Twista, or “I’m Me” by Lil’ Wayne.

6. Learned how to turn on his IPod.

5. Considered which issue he supported in 2000 that he was going to denounce that day.

4. Worked on his Iran stand up joke routine (bomb, bomb, bomb bomb, bomb, Iran; killing Iranians with cigarette imports, etc.)

3. Come up with a gift he could give Rick Warren for setting him up so sweetly in the made for T.V. event.

2. Called 7 of his $5 million a year middle class friends to sit in the audience, pushing the Republican percentage of attendees from 99% to 100%.

1. Practiced longer on how to make his canned responses seem more unrehearsed.